Dear Anya,

I used to run a sort of intuitive Agony Aunt column for a local paper years ago and a blog like this invites questions that people are not alone in asking, so I thought why not give it a go here?

You can e mail me privately and we can publish it here on the blog, anonymously or not, it’s up to you.

Here’s the first from Lisa Burn (@lisaburn1964) who blogs at 4os chic.  She actually read a post on my better established blog Older Single Mum – called ‘Is Life Like a Sat Nat Drive?‘ where I raised a question about whether we are we guided from within.

Dear Anya,

I have come to your blog late and have just discovered this old post, but I am at a point in my life where it really speaks to me. For yearslisa burn, the healer, healing, life changing decisions, I have rejected the idea of fate and pre-determination, otherwise, what is the point in trying anything if your future is already mapped out? But, more and more as I get older I wonder if there is a path we are supposed to follow and moving from that path, is there something dragging us back? I’m on the cusp of making very important decisions in my life that will affect my whole family – am I selfish? Do I have any reason to upset the status quo and uproot everything? Shouldn’t I just shut up and accept my life as it is, after all it is not bad? I don’t know if it’s my intuition, my rationale, my practical self or my dreamer self, but there’s a fight going on inside me and I don’t know what voice to follow or what path to take. It is good to read somebody else’s perspective – it clarifies a little what I’m going through.  

I hope I don’t come across as too down about life, I don’t mean to. It’s weird but since I’ve been struggling with the decisions I have to make I’ve come across so much writing like your own that has really helped me – why I have come across it at this particular time I don’t know, but I’m glad I found it.

I have subscribed to The Healer already and have read your posts – I’m still thinking and feeling, the question is, which one do I run with?

Gosh, we all come to a point like this at some time in our lives, usually when we’re feeling trapped.

I always feel the answer is to go within and ask yourself the same questions.  The answers will come. The more quiet you are, the clearer and sooner they will be.  When I was in a very unhappy marriage with a young son I kept telling myself that, one day, I would know what to do and, actually, I didn’t have to do anything.  My husband had to go and work away, which meant we were secure but he wasn’t around and then, one day, his temper did all the talking and I had no choice but to tell him to leave.  By this point, I was ready and, not being used to living together full time any more, it wasn’t too much of an ordeal for any of us.  I still haven’t had to do anything as things are taking care of themselves nicely.

I couldn’t have predicted any of this, or planned it any better to be honest, but I did honour all my thoughts, feelings and processes for a long time, which is my advice to you.  You don’t need to choose ‘which one to run with,’ just honour them all.  Speak to a counsellor if it helps, and anyone else who might be involved if you feel that’s appropriate.

Another thing is to tune into your intuition – or inner tuition as I call it – and ask to be shown the way.  If you have any kind of faith, tune into that and ask the same.

Your answers will surprise you.  My feeling is that you are frustrated above all else and it is possible to remedy this.  An additional top tip is to list how you feel.  You can do this in a special book or just on sheets of A4.  This works for anything, any time and can be quite cathartic.

Thank you for subscribing.  It’s people like you – perhaps all the trappings of happiness on the outside, but something missing on the inside – that are the reason I am here.

Do keep us all posted (see what I did there?!).

Anya X

And let’s see if our readers have anything to add?



  1. says

    Oh I LOVE intuition being called inner tuition. Not heard THAT one before. Excellent.

    When I cannot find the answers and really really need one, I dowse and it always works for me. It can be quite spooky how accurate it turns out to be and has never let me down.

    Liska xx

    • Anya says

      Yes I am rather fond of that ‘inner tuition’ term myself and think it deserves a post in its own right soon. Dowsing is an interesting subject and probably worth one too. It all taps into the subconscious – Whatever works for you! Thanks Liska xx

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