Grief Can Make You Fat.

We all grieve. There are varying degrees and some of it can be mind-numbingly shockingly awful, completely consuming and life-changing, but the only permanent thing in life is ‘Change’ so we are all grieving sometimes, but at different levels.

Grief itself has well documented stages – Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. We can get stuck at any one of these at any time, fluctuate between them all and endure an entire emotional catalogue to boot too.

When we have lost someone or something we have come to treasure, there seems to be a certain time-frame that we are expected to suffer for. After that, depending on the severity of it, we are supposed to pull ourselves together – the harshest person of all on us normally being ourselves.

I’m not going to make light of this subject, but I want to move on to what often remains when the worst has passed: Sadness. This can make you fat.

Feeling fat makes us sad. Feeling sad can make us fat.

Being January and everywhere I look loads of us are trying to lose weight, I want to be brave and say it doesn’t matter how much dieting you do, how much weight you lose, if you’re holding on to some grief, you will want it back on. Not consciously, I understand that, but unconsciously.

The subconscious is very powerful. It will want you to feel cocooned i.e. comforted and protected from your residual pain.

Actually, in your heart, you will want that too, so it won’t feel or be ‘the right time’ for you to lose weight.

I’m not talking about when grief is still raw – we can all lose shed loads then, I mean when time has passed, things have changed and you can’t settle. It’s easy to ‘comfort eat,’ not to mention ‘comfort drink!’

This might be nothing to do with the death of a loved one. Grief comes in many forms and from many places. So my advice to you, if you want to lose weight and you are feeling rather sad about it, is to focus on any grief you might be holding onto, stuff you may not have moved on from, that is stuck in your soul.

This is easier than you might first think. Remember your breathing and sitting quietly? When you’ve got the hang of the simple things like those, let your mind wander around your body. See what you can sense, which memories surface, how feelings flow. Let them all come. Have a good cry and a strong, sweet cup of tea.

Whether you have a biscuit is up to you. You’ll undoubtedly deserve a couple! And when the time is right, when you have let go of the extra sadness you were holding onto – because some of it will rightfully remain sometimes – you will be able to let go, loosen up and lighten up, literally.

Do let me know how you get on with these meditations / visualisations. Any problems, just holler. You can leave a comment or e mail me privately at any time regarding this or anything else.

Plus, I have introduced a new page for any spiritual stories whatsoever. They are always interesting and back up my work here, so please feel free to share!


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